Friday, October 5, 2012

To Do

I've decided I need to start making to-do lists in order to get stuff done. There's something very gratifying about being able to physically cross stuff off a list of things you want to accomplish.

But, no one wants to read that I need to get a steady job, clean the floors, wash our whites, and find where that odor is coming from...seriously, what IS that?

So, in honor of getting stuff done, and the fact that a fall crisp has settled in the air, I present to you...

                Fall 2012 To-Do List
  1. Start a fire...preferably somewhere outside
  2. Jump in a pile of leaves
  3. Bob for apples
  4. Inhale that that sweet smell of dead leaves and damp earth
  5. Inadvertently scare the shit out of a loved one
  6. Bake a pie...then eat the pie
  7. Fart under the covers, then dutch oven the person sleeping next to you
  8. Drink, mulled wine. Drink both
  9. Wield an axe like a pro
  10. Buy food from a food truck
  11. When protesters are in your neighborhood, indiscreetly join them and hold a sign that says, "I hate puppies!" on the back it says, "But what I really hate is kittens!"
  12. Go apple pickin'
  13. Go pumpkin pickin'
  14. Go pick stuff
  15. Give that bum who dumpster dives in your alley some decent food already...but just leave it there with a note...after all, last time you took out the garbage, he did scream obscenities at you.
  16. Try to pet a bunny
  17. Go for a brisk run in the nude
  18. Stay at a bed and breakfast for the weekend
  19. Go camping
  20. Moon an innocent bystander
I do believe you can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, on a few of these.

Coincidentally, I did manage to actually kill a bird the other day...actually, I was trying to save it. It was just lying there, kind of flapping around. I tried putting it upright, but it fell over. I looked up what to do because I didn't want to just leave it there. So I put it in a shoebox and put it in the closet. (which is what this bird conservatory page told me to do)

Thirty minutes later, a guy from their rescue team showed up at my door. I handed him the box. He peeked inside and said, "Thrush."
I said, "Come again?"
He told me that's what kind of bird it was...then he said, "Oh, that's dead."
I got really sad and said, "Whaaaaat?" Then, he peeked again, and said, "Oh wait! He's still breathing. He just might make it."

I told him to let me know if the bird survived. Needless to say, I didn't hear back.

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