I am so glad Dad was able to walk us both down the aisle.
I think he was happier at your wedding. You know, because his dementia took away all his sadness. His real smile comes easily now. Just put dessert in front of him. :)
I was looking through my wedding stuff; and, I came across some of "dad's words". Dad had a way with words (I like to think we got his gift). I had asked him to "write something" for my wedding (that maybe could be a reading or part of the ceremony). When he wrote what I thought consisted of the whole ceremony, I was too self-centered to see the beauty of including it anyway. At least I saved his words, written in his once-beautiful handwriting:
"The Lord God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man. Then the man said, "This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, because from man this one was taken." That is why a man will leave his father and his mother, and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh." (Genesis 2:22-24)
In this manner, the Bible describes history's first wedding. Centuries later, the apostle Paul had good advice for both husbands and wives in his letter to the Ephesians: "...husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. he who loves his wife loves himself..." wrote Paul. For wives, reaffirming the words of Titus that state: "Recall the young women to their senses to love their husbands." Paul writes to the Ephesians that "the wife should have deep respect for her husband."
Indeed, would it be possible to truly love someone you did not respect? Probably not. Similarly, husbands are to be loving their wives as much as they love themselves. So, although the husband is basically referred to as the family spokesman, does this mean that he would ignore or ridicule or react violently to any difference of opinion with his wife? Would that be loving her as you love yourself? Do you beat yourself up? Do you ridicule your own sincerely-held opinions? Do you ignore yourself? If not, then neither would you act so disgracefully with your wife, your partner for life, if you truly love her as you love yourself.
This is a synopsis of the Bible's view of marriage for Christians. Each participant, man and woman, is an honored partner in this godly arrangement that also serves as the basis for a healthy family life, when children come along.
Standing before us today are two young people, Helio and Melissa, who have known each other for several years--since they met in their college town in the mid-nineties. They know each other well, work well together, and would probably feel lost if they were separated. They go together like ham and eggs, that it is my pleasure today to unite them in holy matrimony."
I love you, Dad. Even if you got a few of the facts about us wrong (was that a sign of things to come? I must laugh about this now.) I love your "words". I love seeing them on the back of pictures. I love that I have some that you wrote for me, to call my very own. I am grateful.