Wednesday, February 6, 2013


On November 11, 2012, I peed on a stick. This little stick gave me some news that would forever change my life.

Before my first doctor's appointment, I barely knew how babies were made, much less the actual gestational period. the fact that you're pregnant for 40 weeks, not nine months, people. Who came up with this nine month business? Alright, perhaps you think me dumb, so I'll take you back.

I was incredibly immature when I went on a field trip with my fifth grade class to the Robert Crown Center to learn about the birds and the bees. Let's just say, I said the word, "penis" a little too much and I was kicked out, never to learn how babies were made. (note: I also got kicked out of the library around this time when my friggin' vice principal showed the class how she checks her blood sugar and gave herself insulin...I was like, "I don't want to see that shit.") Needless to say, I know there's a sperm and an egg involved. They get together somehow...and bam! baby. So, I get the gist.

Fast forward to peeing on that little stick...a day or two before that, I was brushing my teeth. I then proceeded to throw up in the sink. I didn't think anything of it until Jon said, "Maybe you're pregnant?" I told him he was crazy. He insisted on getting me a test. I took the test on Veteran's Day. It was positive. I took another test. That one was inconclusive. I was out of tests.

I told Jon that the stick told me I was pregnant. He was happy and excited while I was a number of emotions. Shocked. Happy. Nervous. Worried. I mean, I like sushi and I drank like a fish that whole week before when we were on vacation. In fact, I may have been drinking a beer at that very moment...

When the thought of being pregnant finally sunk in, I researched doctors and made an appointment to confirm my pregnancy. Words couldn't even begin to express the joy I felt when I heard that little baby's heartbeat. I decided that day that I would document my pregnancy by writing letters to the little one.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Dear Baby,

You became so much more real to me today. I had my first doctor’s appointment since we found out I was pregnant with you. (Nov. 11) All the nurses wished me “Happy Birthday!” because when I was born, the doctor wrote the wrong date on my birth certificate. (my birthday is tomorrow) I will make sure the doctor doesn’t make the same mistake with you.

It was 70 degrees and very windy today. I saw you for the first time. You were already moving around, which seemed to surprise the doctor. You don’t look like much now, but when I heard your heartbeat, I was so overcome with emotion that I began to cry. You are real…my little life. You are my baby and I love you already.

Coincidentally, the world found out today that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant, too. She is in the hospital because of severe morning sickness. I am very nauseous, but luckily, I am able to keep food down, and so far, am able to function fairly normally. It has not been too fun these past two weeks because of the nausea, but I am so thankful for your daddy. He has been very understanding and accommodating.

I can’t wait to see you again at 20 weeks!



Wednesday, Jan. 2, 2013

My Little Caterpillar,

Daddy so affectionately referred to you as “our little caterpillar” in a birthday card he gave me. For Christmas, I gave him a classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. He cried. (he rarely does) It made me cry, too. We can’t wait to meet you, little one.

I woke up at 3am this morning, vomiting. When the vomiting continued, I knew it wasn’t just morning sickness. Then, when Daddy woke up, he began vomiting, too. We both have body aches and other tell-tale signs of the flu. Today was not a fun day.

We laid in bed all day, making urgent trips to the bathroom, and worried about you. I couldn’t keep down water. By the end of the day, I think I only drank a glass or two of water, a couple crackers, some Emergen-C (for the electrolytes), and a can of lemon-lime soda.

I am at about 12 weeks today. People keep telling me the nausea will go away soon. I hope so. I really, really hope so.



Monday, January 14, 2013


Daddy came with to my doctor’s appointment today. He was so anxious to see you. There was no need for an ultrasound, but the doctor saw how much he wanted to see you that she decided I “needed” one.

When he saw you on the screen, he smiled from ear to ear, looked at me, and kissed my hand and gave it a good squeeze. I cried again. I don’t know if that will ever go away. You had gotten so big! You look like a little baby now…a little baby with a big head.



Thursday, January 24, 2013


On Sunday, I was in a lot of pain. I called the doctor and the on-call doc told me it sounded like a urinary tract infection and to drink a lot of water and cranberry juice. So I did.

The next day, I went in to the doctor and gave them a urine sample. The nurse prescribed me antibiotics, which I immediately began taking. When the pain and discomfort didn’t go away, I called the doc again. I went in and my regular doctor wasn’t there, but when the new doc saw me, she seemed to immediately know that something was wrong. She told me I looked like I was about 22 weeks pregnant. (I am about 15 weeks)

She felt my tummy and told me that my bladder was extremely full. The nurse had asked me for a urine sample, but I could only squeeze out a few drops. The doctor drained 2000ccs (2 liters!) of urine from my bladder and I felt so much relief. She told me that I have a retroverted uterus and that you were blocking my urethra. I asked if there was anything she could do, but she told me that in her 15 years of being a doctor, she had only ever seen one other case like mine and that when you grow, you should move up and out of that little pocket.

I then asked the doc to check on you to make sure you were ok. When I heard your heartbeat, I felt relieved. Daddy was with me and held my hand through it all.

The doctor wanted me to spend the night in the hospital so they could monitor me, but I wanted to stay at home with Daddy. The doc was nice enough to call a urologist and I went to their office and a nice nurse named Maggie showed me how to self-catheterize. She drained 650ccs more from me and only an hour had passed since the first catheterization. (A normal “void” is about 100-300ccs)

I’m hoping and praying and doing special exercises so that you move up. I love you, little one.



Friday, February 01, 2013


I’m going to the hospital today. The high-risk doctor is going to manually push my uterus up, so there will be no problems in the future and so you will have plenty of room to move around. I have what is called an incarcerated uterus.

Please don’t be scared, little one. I will be with you. Daddy will be with you, too. We will always be there for you.

We have all our friends and family praying for you. They want to meet you just as much as we do. We love you so much.



1 comment:

  1. Thinking good thoughts for you and the family, can't wait to meet the little one. Also, I'm be honest here, this whole "pregnancy" thing is pretty baffling to me as well, you are not the only one! I think you need to go through it to fully understand, which I haven't of course. miss you!