four.

To Greta...at four-years-old.

You told me you liked the smell of coffee and when you grow up you are going to drink coffee...and also alcohol and you think cigarettes smell, "goody. goody." So...there's that to look forward to.

You would ask to sit on my lap every time we sit down to eat. I usually wouldn't let you...but perhaps I should...you are, after all, little for only so long. You are wise beyond your years, Greta, that sometimes I forget you just turned four and just want to be held like I held you the first two years of your life. When I ask you why you want to sit on my lap all the time, you reply, "Because I love you."

Today, you told me that you don't miss me when I go away, but you miss daddy when he goes away, and then you asked when I would be dead.

You tell me you want another little sister...not a little brother because "boys are too loud."

You sing...always. I can't get you to stop even when I ask you to stop...because I have a headache, and although I do love your singing...you, my dear, are loud.

You whine and cry...a lot.

You love "The Sound of Music". You and your sister are always performing the songs from it.

We all went blueberry picking for the first time and you did so well, only picking the ripe blueberries. You ate most of the blueberries you picked before we weighed them, and it was very hot outside that day, so when you were ready to go, you plopped down among the bushes and asked which way was out.

You asked to go to the zoo for your birthday, and so we did.

You and your sister have been fighting a lot lately. You are usually quite sweet to her, but you taking things out of her hands while she's playing with them has been our biggest obstacle you have yet to outgrow. (maybe never will? I hope so...for my sanity.)

Four...it happened in the blink of an eye. There is that saying that the days are long but the years are short...but even the days are short for me. Even the bad ones...the ones I can't wait to be over. Because everyday, you get a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit closer to being on your own someday. Bittersweet, my love. So very bittersweet to watch as you grow from a teeny tiny baby to this sweet little toddler to the sassy little girl you are today.